literature

real + make-believe

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Literature Text


Give me something real, he says. Give me something with meaning. I'd give every little word that can't
contain a smidgen of  the thing itself rattling  around  my tired, jittery brain, but I've been doing lines of
madness  and  what I see  the world cannot hold. Oh,  everything I say is real, I answer, with the smile
that comes at all the wrong times, but never when invited. And I mean every single word.


                                     losing my sex drive
                                                             [like an addiction i cannot keep]
                                                             and winning out on integrity,
                                                             and my inner desires
                                                             most humble in nature.


My hands chase firefly outlines trying to sculpt something from nothing. Syllables become words become
sentences   become  paragraphs  become  pages  and  pages  and pages of  misplaced  electrochemical
connections   clashing  with  malformed   biochemical   reactions.  The  signals  in   my  chest  swapping
oxygenated for deoxygenated speed up in the fear that the message won't get through and the signals
in my chest measuring inspiration with expiration stop altogether removing the ability to speak.


                                     to see the mad king collapse,
                                                             and bask in the victory
                                                             that noble hearts have won.
                                                             across the land
                                                             the world gets a little brighter
                                                             love and support structure win over
                                                             all the chaos and disorder.
                                                             and I get to keep for me
                                                             a piece of peace.


Omne  ignotum pro  magnifico.1 Barefoot in the grass I stand in the dark the cold the mist and extend
and  perceive and become.  The energy of the  world  slides down  my throat and  magic lives behind my
eyes  because  I  am  not  I  am  not  I  am  not  of  this(your)their  world.  I  am
a particulari  ad
universale
2.  I  am  the conduit  of  pastpresentfuture  with  the wings  of beginnings  and endings and
everything  in between  beating beneath  my skin. I am  Cassandra3 swimming against the stream of fate
and predestination,  or maybe I'll  become bradán feasa4  instead and I will say Take this, all of you, and
eat it: this is my body which will be given up for you
5, and then you will know all the mysteries collecting
in my veins.


                                     thirsts that can never be quenched finally rid,
                                                             we wrap ourselves in our own little world of darkness.
                                                             [the type of darkness we love so much
                                                             where angels fly
                                                             and demons do not always connotate evil.]

                                                             where we can feel our brethren around us:
                                                             their bleeding hearts, their happiness,
                                                             and hear the stories an old oak tells,
                                                             for we are kindred spirits.


And in the  dark and the cold and the mist, reality strips away and leaves me in the purity of being. I see
the lines  connecting every  tree and every  root and every plant spider  webs and tapestries and I stand
at the epicentre, the hub connecting to the spokes and here, away from them and there and that, in the
quiet of the universe I hold the rabbit of your heart in hands moulded from earth and time and things they
only speak of in laughter or in fear, and here in the quiet of the universe I will hold it gently and speak
softly of all the truths we both once knew and offer shelter from the harshness of this place.


                                     we are all made of the same stuff
                                                             and we have opened up to communicate
                                                             the universal language.
                                                             [that we are all equipped to understand
                                                             yet somehow
                                                             in the marrow of the human world
                                                             have forgotten.]


The uninvited smile climbs in place once more to shield the truth in frivolous disguise. To let you know
the analysation and observation is the act of a curious child unearthing buried treasure, for I am Peter
Pan forever duelling pirates and tumbling through air, and you are the Wendy-girl waiting with an
arsenal of thimble-kisses for every scrap my danger-immune impulses lead me to. One day Wendy-girl
will realise Never Land will always live wherever Peter is (because he is Never Land), and that she is
the one who must ask him to stay because he must be invited and coaxed. Like a cat. But even a cat
who can't tell the difference between thimbles and kisses understands something all her thinking still
can't unravel.


                                     amongst the greed and lust and envy
                                                             and all the things that made humans look despicable  
                                                             now preside in dwell in nothing
                                                             as the meek inherit the earth


Your voice always gets quiet when your thoughts get loud, and I would pick away every lock and chain
wrapped around that shining, glittering box if you would only give permission to my anxious, questing
fingers.

Tell me something make-believe.
Something like... A dialogue between thought processes. Maybe. What do you see?

With the ever lovely and enlightening Mr Jinks.
Prosey bits are me, not-prosey bits are him.

Footnotes
(yes, I have footnotes)
1 'Everything unknown appears magnificent.'
<sup2</sup> 'from the particular to the universal'
3Apollo granted Cassandra the gift of prophecy. However, when she did not return his love, Apollo placed a curse on her so that no one would believe her predictions.
4The Salmon of Knowledge, prominently figured in The Boyhood Deeds of Fionn. A salmon ate nine hazelnuts that fell into the Well of Wisdom from nine hazelnut trees that surrounded the well, and gained all the knowledge in the world. The first person to eat its flesh would in turn gain that knowledge.
5Words of Consecration (Eucharist); Luke 22:19
© 2011 - 2024 angeljunkie
Comments8
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Atropaean's avatar
"The uninvited smile climbs in place once more to shield the truth in frivolous disguise."

nice line. also good formatting.

lines like " become pages and pages and pages of misplaced electrochemical connections clashing with malformed biochemical reactions. The signals in my chest swapping oxygenated for deoxygenated speed"

and internal rhymes like inspiration expiration, all make it awesome. plus fav